An Ideal Joint Family – Myth or Reality?

I am regular viewer of a serial in Starplus – ‘Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai’. It’s a typical family drama which shows family tie-up in strong shades – ‘Overbearing and a typical Melodrama’. Though I am not at all a tele serial addict, but still I watch this daily soap as I like their portrayal of a joint family. Loving and caring mother in law, protective – father in law, much romantic husband, guidance and wisdom of doting grandmothers – I am in awe of such bonds, seems so perfect. It showcases an ideal scenario of a joint family, where daughter in law is respected as she is, loved cared without boundaries or inhibitions.

The serial made me believe in the concept of joint families where love and care flows endlessly.

But do such ideal families exist in real?

A month back I met my college friend –Indu. She has a reserved, introvert kind of personality. During our meeting I discovered she was quite worried and had some anxieties.

Here’s her tale –

Indu is married for past more than 3 years in a joint family. She has a very loving and warm – hearted husband. He understands her likes and dislikes. Her problem is with ‘the mother in law’.

Her mother in law is overpowering, domineering and much egoistic. She would irritate Indu all the time over petty issues.

‘She would insult all time as sweets gifted by Indu’s family on engagement ceremony got less.’

‘She completely dislike Indu’s way of dressing up’. ‘She would ridicule if Indu wears suit instead of sari for a family dinner.’

‘She would get annoyed and starts her emotional drama if any of Indu’s family side invites Indu and her husband for get together’.

‘She would ridicule if Indu would want to eat oats instead of Aloo Parantha or Puri’.

‘She would ask Indu to stop eating eggs as it will make her impure. According to her MIL those who eat eggs are not spiritual’.

‘She would humiliate Indu as her earnings are much less than expected’. She would embarrass if she purchased anything expensive’.

‘Would curse and abuse her for not having a child yet.’

‘For everything she would compare Indu with her elder daughter in law’.

And in all this and more THE MIL would always drag Indu’s parents that they have given her wrong values. A question put up on their upbringing.

The list is actually endless………

And now Indu and her husband have decided to move on and live separately so that relationship does not get bitter.

Sometimes space is equally important to retain peace.

Indu is adamant to live separately now as she thinks living together will be destructive for mental peace and relationship. Even moving on is not easy as it will bring in unpleasant and nasty comments her way. This makes her worried and anxious. She will have to face absurd glares from relatives and people alike.

I completely empathize and support her decision. She should not compromise on her self-respect. Also there is no point in doing the fault finding task, if two sides are not compatible and no understanding can be reached in spite of living together for more than three years, it’s better to separate and try reconciling latter on. 

Living in frustration and killing your dreams every day is not recommended at all.

This is my advice for Indu.

What are your thoughts folks?

What are your suggestions or advice for Indu?


(Image source - Here)