Some scars heal and some don’t……..

“Threads of past fasten around me,

dead soul of mine liberated from wounds.

From life that haunts and screams that taunt,

subdued my thoughts released from daunt.

My complex life untangle to soothe,

with penning the words which come from heart”.

 I am a very average looking girl or you might even say below average as I have huge acne marks on my face.  When I entered teenage things weren’t easy for me alike many girls. My menstruation was unnaturally heavy (Menorrhagia), every day I used to wake up to welcome a big acne on my face, my skin being of oily texture added  to the trouble. Experimented from homemade treatments to Homoeopathy, Ayurveda, popping pills from anti allergic to antibiotic but none came to my rescue.  Acne left embarrassing marks on my face. Many mocked, laughed, showed immense sympathies, stared my pitted face, it made me annoyed, distracted but never perturbed my heart to the extent of losing confidence.

The scars of my face never ever reached my heart, till one fine day……..

7^th Dec 2005, Solan (H.P)

It was the last day of practical exam (medical). I was in the second year. Weather was windy with slight drizzling.  It was around 2:00 pm , as per my roll number, I finished off my practical work, some of my friends finished their task early and left for home to prepare for next exam and some were in waiting, so I decided to walk home as I had missed the bus and the residence was not far.

 Green and fresh leaves, chirping of birds, I merrily enjoyed the coldness and slight pouring of rain, tugged inside my umbrella, I walked my path; all of a sudden I started feeling some discomfort as if being followed.  As I turned back , it got all dark and I felt breathless as he pressed hard his hand over my face, trying to push me aside, dragged me far down the hill, all the strength and resistance  I used was of no help, they were two. The harder they pounced me, more lifeless I became. I couldn’t think of any help, still tried to scream, shout as much as I can, not giving in to their demands.  Within a few seconds some faint voices could be heard, the men got alert. I was saved. It was like my second birth. A group of 5-6 ladies, taking that way as a shortcut was en route to another village.  The men stabbed my face with some sharp grass cutting tool, smeared mud and ran away. The ladies came running to help, ran after those callous creatures but they had gone far enough.

The next day I woke up in the hospital the wound on my face was better, bleeding had stopped.

The scar would heal up in few days said the doctors, prescribing the best medicine.

Now, It’s been ten years since this incident, the mark of disfigurement got healed. But this time the scar of my face reached deep inside my heart.  My hands tremble and my soul shivers as I write this story down.  It robbed away my entire confidence. 

The scars on my soul are deep will go away with time, the lost confidence will come back as still I carry hope.  With faith in heart, I wish and pray  at least for ones this world becomes a better and a safe place to live.